We didn't just have a God moment in class today we had a whole God day. God used two pastors and a lesson to get across to me that I need to progress. I was faced with the fact that yes I have answered the calling on my life to the mission field but I haven't done all that much to get there. I haven't been using the time or the internship I've been in to adequately prepare or progress towards it. God challenged me today not to let fear or anything else keep me from pursuing it whole heartedly and to move forward in my walk with Christ. I was challenged to press on towards Gods ultimate goal and my part in it. I'm not going to stand before God and have Him ask me why didn't you do what I wanted you to do, what stopped you? He took care of everything at the cross, I will move forward. I will be a good and faithful servant to my God.
There was a lot more to today but I just wanted to chew on that one major point today
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
In His hands
There is nothing like the presence of God. The peace I find in Him is like no other. The assurance He gives me the love I find in Him, it's so amazing. It's weird that I've struggled with wanting to spend time with God, it's so worth having to press in to be near Him. I don't even know what I'm trying to say, I just know that everything is in His hands. It has been so long since I have experienced this peace.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Taking it all in
So I just finished a nine month internship at my church, Household of Faith. I'm still trying to take it all in. So much has changed since and in some ways it's like I'm not even the same person. Before I did this I could never get in front of people and preach or lead a small group or strongly defend my faith. But all that has changed, I've changed. And it's not just those things either, there is so much that is changing inside of me, I know who God is saying I am.
The changes all really started about two years ago when I experienced God for the first time and I made Jesus the Lord of my life. I was transformed, I stopped drinking, smoking, cursing and began a process where the Holy Spirit has removed many old habits from my life. But that wasn't all God wanted to change. Very soon after I got plugged into church God told me I would lead, I believed Him, even though my entire life I had been the quiet kid who always looked for someone to tell him what to do. It scared me but I trusted God and handed my life over to Him to be shaped into what He desired. I began to pursue God more and more and i got the opportunity to go to Guadalajara on a missions trip.
God really used me while I was there and I began to come out of my shell and move away from the person I always said I was into the person God was saying I was. God used me in ways I had never been while I was there, it was truelly humbling. God used me to touch those peoples lives, I will never forget them. When I returned home God began to reveal a calling on my life to the mission field. This time however, I wasn't as quick to accept it.
I recieved a prophetic word confirming it but I still wasn't willing to say I was called to be a missionary. At a college service one night Wayne Brown from Bethany came and spoke. He prayed over me and said that God was beginning to birth dreams and visions in me. That there was a calling on my life, to just rest in the anointing. I finally began to accept that I was called to ministry but I still didn't want to say that I was called to the mission field.
God then started dealing with me to do a nine month internship at my church. I decided that there was no way I could do it this year so I decided I would do one more year of school at LSU and then do it. One thursday afternoon however I was at home and I had decided I wanted to sleep and relax instead of going and helping out at Lutcher where we had just planted a youth church. For some reason while I was sitting in my room i felt like I needed to go to Lutcher.
I got up and left and it was a typical night at Lutcher. Pastor Wade preached the same message he had preached at XG the night before about fear. During the alter call most of the people there responded. Pastor Wade started saying that there were people out there who needed to come up there to get prayed for. The Holy Spirit began to deal with me to go up there so I did. While I was standing up there to get prayed for I started praying and asking God why am I up here, I prayed to not be afraid last night. God spoke to me that I would do internship and I said yes I'm doing it next year and God told me you're doing it this year. I got very scared and told God I needed confirmation. Pastor Wade prayed over me that God was going before me, He was clearing a path where all I saw were trees.
I was scared, the trees were my parents, my finances my tops, I didn't see how it would all work out. I kept praying about it and knew I was going to do it. My parents weren't happy to say the least. I was nearly kicked out of my house when I told them, no one in my family understood. But I trusted God and I did it.
So much happened during that time. The next nine months taught me a lot. It gave me a firm foundation and taught me a lot about myself and people. It challenged me and put me in positions where I had to grow. It equipped me to do the work of the Lord. And God did clear the path and made a way for me. Everything worked out including with my parents.
During internship the dreams and visions began to come. God began to give clarity to the plan He has for me. I know I am called to more than the typical and I know it will be hard. But I know He is going to be there with me. I can't wait to see the things He has put in me come but He has also birthed a desire for right now. The vision of this house that I am in is inside of me. God birthed a love for His people and His church inside of me.
It in no way was what I expected it to be and I have trouble really describing what happened to me in that time. I'm just finally starting to truelly love what He loves and hate what He hates. Things are beginning to be made clear and I'm looking forward to the time ahead of me.
The changes all really started about two years ago when I experienced God for the first time and I made Jesus the Lord of my life. I was transformed, I stopped drinking, smoking, cursing and began a process where the Holy Spirit has removed many old habits from my life. But that wasn't all God wanted to change. Very soon after I got plugged into church God told me I would lead, I believed Him, even though my entire life I had been the quiet kid who always looked for someone to tell him what to do. It scared me but I trusted God and handed my life over to Him to be shaped into what He desired. I began to pursue God more and more and i got the opportunity to go to Guadalajara on a missions trip.
God really used me while I was there and I began to come out of my shell and move away from the person I always said I was into the person God was saying I was. God used me in ways I had never been while I was there, it was truelly humbling. God used me to touch those peoples lives, I will never forget them. When I returned home God began to reveal a calling on my life to the mission field. This time however, I wasn't as quick to accept it.
I recieved a prophetic word confirming it but I still wasn't willing to say I was called to be a missionary. At a college service one night Wayne Brown from Bethany came and spoke. He prayed over me and said that God was beginning to birth dreams and visions in me. That there was a calling on my life, to just rest in the anointing. I finally began to accept that I was called to ministry but I still didn't want to say that I was called to the mission field.
God then started dealing with me to do a nine month internship at my church. I decided that there was no way I could do it this year so I decided I would do one more year of school at LSU and then do it. One thursday afternoon however I was at home and I had decided I wanted to sleep and relax instead of going and helping out at Lutcher where we had just planted a youth church. For some reason while I was sitting in my room i felt like I needed to go to Lutcher.
I got up and left and it was a typical night at Lutcher. Pastor Wade preached the same message he had preached at XG the night before about fear. During the alter call most of the people there responded. Pastor Wade started saying that there were people out there who needed to come up there to get prayed for. The Holy Spirit began to deal with me to go up there so I did. While I was standing up there to get prayed for I started praying and asking God why am I up here, I prayed to not be afraid last night. God spoke to me that I would do internship and I said yes I'm doing it next year and God told me you're doing it this year. I got very scared and told God I needed confirmation. Pastor Wade prayed over me that God was going before me, He was clearing a path where all I saw were trees.
I was scared, the trees were my parents, my finances my tops, I didn't see how it would all work out. I kept praying about it and knew I was going to do it. My parents weren't happy to say the least. I was nearly kicked out of my house when I told them, no one in my family understood. But I trusted God and I did it.
So much happened during that time. The next nine months taught me a lot. It gave me a firm foundation and taught me a lot about myself and people. It challenged me and put me in positions where I had to grow. It equipped me to do the work of the Lord. And God did clear the path and made a way for me. Everything worked out including with my parents.
During internship the dreams and visions began to come. God began to give clarity to the plan He has for me. I know I am called to more than the typical and I know it will be hard. But I know He is going to be there with me. I can't wait to see the things He has put in me come but He has also birthed a desire for right now. The vision of this house that I am in is inside of me. God birthed a love for His people and His church inside of me.
It in no way was what I expected it to be and I have trouble really describing what happened to me in that time. I'm just finally starting to truelly love what He loves and hate what He hates. Things are beginning to be made clear and I'm looking forward to the time ahead of me.
A short testimony
I used to not know who I was, I used to try and be what people wanted me to be. Around one group of friends it was a drunk who loved to party. Around another group I would be geeky and around my parents I was quiet and polite to a fault. I was brought up Catholic and had knowledge of scripture and could tell you all sorts of things about my religion but that was all it was to me, a religion. God seemed like some unknowable distant person. As I got older I became more and more lost, I took on a mindset of well I can do whatever I want and just go to confession and it would all be ok. I started to party more and more thinking I would find fulfillment in living the typical college kid life. One day I realized how empty I was, that I had become something that as a child I never wanted to be. I had noticed a change in a friend of mine who I had know since I was about three years old. He had gone from being an angry shy and sad guy to just having such joy in his life. I wanted to have that so I asked him about it and he invited me to church. I went with him and it was completely different from anything I had ever seen. People were lifting their hands and speaking in tongues during worship. Eventually the pastor started praying for different people, I kept hoping he wouldn't come to me but he did. As he prayed for me I felt like I was being held but there was noone touching me. Suddenly i just started to feel like my heart was on fire, it was a literal burning in my chest, I didn't know what to think of it. I dont remember too much of the service but things started to change over the next couple of weeks. I would drive to LSU and could still feel the flames in my heart, I stopped cursing, drinking, smoking and my cravings for ciggarettes were gone. One day I decided to buy a bible and I started reading it. One night I read out of Luke when Jesus had been resurected and visited His disciples. After he had left they said to each other, when he spoke was it not like fire burned within our hearts. From that point on I devoted my life to Jesus Christ. I have been baptized by fire in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. I have a personal and intimate realtionship with Jesus. So much of my life has been changed and I praise and glorify God for it, I have found my identity in Him, I have found purpose in Him.
Blogging
Well I figured this would be better for blogging than myspace or facebook so here I am, hope you guys enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
